This blog entry
I Refuse To Compromise Who I Am for Someone Else’s Comfort” by Kara Kirtley originally appeared here on theworldrace.org web site. We loved her message and asked to repost her blog entry here as well.
It’s fun to be around people who accept you for who you are, isn’t it? You feel known and loved and there’s a freedom to be found there.
But what about the times when the people around you don’t accept or like you for who you are? What about the times when you’re afraid to say how you really feel, for fear of it being rejected, or worse – for World War III to break out?
Have you ever compromised who you are for someone else’s comfort?
I know this feeling all too well.
I’m a lover of people, but there’s a certain personality type that typically doesn’t love me. The “Challengers.” Self confident, decisive, dominant and confrontational. Strong, assertive, straight talking. The types of people who need to control their environment, sometimes the people in it and sometimes becoming confrontational and intimidating in order to do so.
I love “Challengers” but they sometimes have a hard time loving me.
The problem is, I’m like a Tigger. You know – the Winnie the Pooh Tigger. The one whose tops are made out of rubber… their bottoms made out of springs. The ones who are cuddly, sweet and who love fun.
And Tiggers can’t be controlled. And that’s annoying for people who like order and control.
This type of person gets thrown off by my fun loving, Tigger-like qualities. They don’t enjoy my energy. They don’t like my bouncing around. They can’t understand why I’m so positive all the time or why I love everyone who comes into my presence.
This personality type doesn’t like when they can’t squash me under their thumb and keep me there. But Tiggers can’t sit still just because someone wants them to.
It would be easy to allow these types of people to put me in a box. To chop off huge parts of things that make me who I am. To throw away my springy tail, to let my fuzzy ears gather dust while the door to my real self is closed indefinitely.
But I refuse to sacrifice who I am for someone else’s comfort.
For some reason, we place a high value on what we call “harmony.” But sometimes that harmony isn’t real. I’d rather have real harmony achieved through conflict than false harmony where people don’t say what they really mean and resentment builds under the surface. In false harmony, people aren’t themselves. People hide and shelter parts of who they are or opinions they have to keep waves from hitting the surface.
But the truth is, we need those differing opinions. We need for people to be themselves. Because in the grand scheme of things, we’re all different color threads in the beautiful tapestry that God is creating. And if we allow our thread to turn a different color to be less offensive to someone else, then that tapestry gets a little less beautiful. It’s not what God created it to be. We need Tiggers, and we need Challengers. We need you to be you. Unashamedly, unapologetically, you.